Broken as F*ck: The creative brief for making people believe ghost jobs are real
👋🏾 Soooo…collective illusion is public enemy number one. “Don’t Believe The Hype”. Every week, we’ll say the quiet parts out loud (in your inbox). So we can cancel or co-sign marketing or market trends and discern pop culture gems from flops together. And start making sense of the nonsense online.
37,000 applications...but only 4,000 positions were available @ the Toronto CNE (2024) Source: CP24
Ghosting has taken to the job market streets, y’all.
And I’m not even talking about the recruiters who ghost us, and not what may or may not be happening in your IG DMs (it’s a safe space here). It’s the job postings that are merely a mirage—the number of ghost jobs that exist in name only, designed more to mislead than to hire.
I know why these companies do it.
Yes, it’s complete nonsense, and I am here to make sense of it, even if we still need to trade time for money when the world's seven wonders are waiting to take up storage in our camera roll.
It’s ALL marketing.
Since we’re now eight Substack articles deep (shout to me and consistency), I can let you in on why I went to school for marketing. You ready? Perception is reality. The psychology of why we go to a specific school, take a job, or partner is all based on how it’s marketed.
Would you have given [enter so-and-so’s name here] a second date if they didn’t present themselves just the way you expected?
Either way, the perception, not the reality, of the situation is what has most of us in a chokehold (just like the gap between the number of jobs available stat to the lived experience of still being unemployed). And this is what working in marketing does to you. Force your hand to see right through the facades of the world—leaving no wonder. It’s scary sometimes.
So, as we have all experienced in some capacity—whether you or someone you know has been laid off, decided to switch jobs, or you’re just tapped into what’s going on in the economy.
The job market is broken as f*ck.
I don’t have the answers, but I can help lighten your perception of it.
The Creative Brief for Making People Believe Ghost Jobs Are Real
Client:
Me, the company that doesn’t want to fill vacancies but piss off the talent pool, gather resumes like Thanos and deter competitors by appearing booked & busy.
Assigned to:
Preferably to a junior marketer with 5 - 7 years of experience who will do free job application assignments.
Briefed in at: 07:46 a.m., Tuesday
Deliverables are due by: 07:49 a.m., Tuesday
Flexible?
Of course! Must be able to work in a fast-paced environment and come to the office five days a week to sit in virtual meetings.
Project description/context:
Focus on the job abundance recruitment trick to mislead job seekers, increase investor confidence and create unnecessary competition, making it harder for actual job openings to stand out. So far, we’ve had ten jobs of the same title out for six months.
Purpose:
Create an illusion of a competitive hiring environment to manipulate the market, but we’re not genuinely seeking new hires.
Target audience:
Job seekers actively looking for employment, have probably been on the hunt for months and, at this point, are desperate for a callback.
Design needed:
N/A —We may test them in the job description to see if they read it. Something clever like, “Please include the word ‘moneyprintergobrrr’ in your application.”
Main messages to convey to the audience:
"We appreciate your patience, but we're just testing the waters."
"I understand it’s frustrating, but we’re gauging interest."
"Your skills are great, but unfortunately, this role was never intended to be filled immediately."
"I know you've been waiting for a callback, but sometimes these postings are just placeholders."
"It’s not you—it’s the market."
"The truth is, some roles are posted to gather collectables, also known as resumes.”
"I get it, you've applied everywhere. But some listings are there to attract top talent…for later."
"I wish I had better news, but this position was posted more as a strategy."
"Hang in there. We’re hope dealers.”
Tone of voice:
Strategically aloof, i.e. "We're always on the lookout for the best."
Slightly temperamental, i.e. "Opportunities are always on the horizon."
Half-heartedly competitive, i.e. "Our next big move is just around the corner."
Ideal audience reaction/response:
A hint of determination.
Even though job seekers may sense something is off, we still want them to feel compelled to keep trying and believe that getting their foot in the door could lead to something big! Thoughts like, "I’ll keep applying; you never know when they’ll actually need someone.”
I will also accept:
“Why haven’t I heard back?”
Past creative that might be applicable to this brief:
For reference, we have done the following recruitment tactics for applicants:
Frequent Social Media Posts: Regularly posting about "exciting opportunities."
Exclusive “Talent Pools” or “Talent Communities”: Inviting applicants to join where they can stay updated on “future opportunities.”
High-Profile Job Fairs and Events: Participating in or hosting job fairs and recruitment events where we collect resumes and engage with “potential candidates.”
Elaborate Application Processes: Designing a complex and thorough application process that demands applicants' effort, time, and engagement.
"Future-Focused" Job Descriptions: Posting job descriptions that are intentionally vague or focused on future needs, using phrases like "This role is part of our long-term vision.” Keeping our hiring timeline ambiguous.
Strategic Partnerships or Collaborations: Announcing partnerships with other companies or institutions, implying that new roles will emerge from these deals.
Mock Job Openings for Market Research: Posting roles designed to gather information about what candidates are looking for, what skills are in demand, or what salary expectations are—under the guise of a real job opening. This one has yielded us the best results!
Competitive analysis (what others are doing well):
Do the complete opposite of Buffer, the social media management company.
They create a sense of scarcity vs abundance by hiring infrequently and making job openings highly coveted—we’re not interested in making it clear why positions are rare. However, it has helped them attract high-quality candidates who are genuinely interested and committed to the company’s values and culture.
Budget:
To be determined based on scope and needs but we’re putting zero dollars or sense behind this.
Approvals:
Head of HR, maybe the CEO, but we can wing it.
Additional notes:
While I was taking the time to give you all the details, we re-posted the position. Nobody has applied yet, but when you do, you’ll be the first to be considered. Thank you for applying for this now obsolete role, sorry we didn’t hire you.
Don’t believe the hype.
P.S. Season One of ‘Don’t Believe The Hype’ essays have come to a close. The ______ as F*ck edition. Stay tuned for Season Two a week (or two) from now 🙏🏾
Wanna hear from me sooner?