Shady as F*ck: Is your mind playing mental gymnastics? Let's Biles it.
👋🏾 Soooo…collective illusion is public enemy number one. “Don’t Believe The Hype”. Every Tuesday, we’ll say the quiet parts out loud (in your inbox). So we can cancel or co-sign marketing or market trends and discern pop culture gems from flops together. And start making sense of the nonsense online.
“You guys really gotta stop asking athletes what’s next after they win a medal at the Olympics” - Simone Biles, the most decorated gymnast in history
And that goes for YOU, too.
Seeing this tweet from an Olympian got my intrusive thoughts going…
Even at the highest level, we battle them: “What’s next?” “You’re not that big of a deal.” “This was a fluke.” “You need to train harder.” “They’re better than you.”
Completing an advanced degree or certification
Building a sustainable lifestyle from nothing
Getting a job
For the non-olympians in the room, these goals are not an easy feat sometimes. And we need to take our flowers and smell them while we tell the negative intrusive thoughts to politely f*ck all the way off.
Many of us are no Simone Biles, but we have our messy thoughts like anybody else. And they can be the biggest gangster and blocker to achieving the heights of an Olympian.
This show I’ve been watching, Dark Matter on Apple TV. It reveals how the emotional state of the mind can be indicative of how we manifest negative or positive events.
Quick Summary, Dark Matter is a TV Series based on Black Crouch's best-selling book. The main character, Jason Dessen, is abducted into an alternate version of his life (and faces many other lives if he had made different choices) using a device known as "The Box." To get back to his true family, he embarks on a harrowing journey to save them from the most terrifying foe imaginable: himself.
*SPOILERS ARE INCLUDED FROM THIS POINT FORWARD
In the plot, they figured out that opening doors to each parallel reality was based on how they felt. (For example, feeling overwhelmed led to opening a door to a flood, and feeling anxious led to opening a door to a deadly pandemic.)
The characters frequently encountered dangerous or uninhabitable worlds that mirrored their internal struggles and fears. Metaphorically, this is how our anxieties and fears can shape our experiences and the "doors" we open in life, potentially leading to negative outcomes if not managed properly.
It’s our mind that often turns on us, creating negative narratives that usually don’t come true or are false altogether. And our emotions are getting f*cked up in the process!
It’s giving Zebra thinking with no grey area: Seeing things in black-and-white extremes with no middle ground—it’s blocking your blessings.
It’s giving over-hype-lization: Taking a single event and applying broad brush strokes to your entire life—it’s making you delusional.
It’s giving Miss Cleo mind-reading: Fake facts on what others may or may not be thinking—it’s manifesting negativity.
It’s giving a woe-is-me complex: Blaming yourself for things beyond your MF’in control.
It’s all shady as f*ck.
Your mind needs to take all the accountability here. And we also need to remember the following, when the mental gymnastics kick in:
For the Zebra Thinkers
Let there be grey area. When you catch yourself thinking in black-and-white extremes (i.e. "I'm a success or a failure"), remind yourself that reality often exists within the margins.
When Jason didn’t understand how ‘the box’ worked, he would charge through the doors without considering his thoughts and emotional state, which dictated the reality he would face.
Often, when something doesn’t happen for us, we beat ourselves up based on the outcome instead of the intent. That part is going to mess a lot of people up, who believe in impact over intent, but we’re living in the grey area right now.
Replace The Thought, "I didn't get the job. I'll never get a job." With The Feeling of Gratitude: "Even though I didn’t get this job, there are other opportunities I am qualified for. What can I do differently?"
For the Over-hype-lizationers
Get specific. Avoid season finale endings on a single event. Can we look at the specifics and acknowledge that one monkey does not define the whole?
Jason repeatedly ran into realities that didn’t align with his intent because they never coincided with his emotional state.
Replace The Thought: "I failed this test. I'm so bad at everything!!" With The Feeling of Resilience: "This is hard, but I’ve overcome hard things before. I can do hard things."
For the Miss Cleo Mind-Readers
Gather the MF’ing evidence first. Rather than making an ass outta yourself by thinking you know what others think, seek clarification.
It was starting to become apparent to parallel universe hopper Jason that the more lives he entered, the more frustrated he became. He couldn’t identify whether he had found his true life or was it just another imposter, so he began investigating to gain possible explanations for why he kept getting it wrong.
Replace The Thought: "They didn't reply to my message. They must be mad at me/think I’m incompetent." With The Feeling of Understanding: "There could be many reasons they haven't replied yet. They must be busy or forgot. I'll wait a couple more minutes or ask if everything is okay/my message went to the spam folder."
For the woe-is-me’ers
Take control. Discern between what is within your control and what is not. Do the things within your control and let go of the rest because what is for you won’t pass you by.
Jason was down to his last two “red pills” to get back to his family. He revisited his field notes and noticed the thought patterns. This provided valuable insight, helping him to see things from a different angle and re-write a more aligned narrative.
Replace The Thought: “I’m not where I want to be in my life.” With The Feeling of Acceptance: "Life is full of variables, and through my mistakes, I've made consistent 1% improvements."
“Life was about reaching some perfect destination. And I’m starting to suspect that it is the imperfections of life that amount to a different kind of perfection.” Jason Dessen, Dark Matter
Don’t believe the hype.
The outcome of a situation is not indicative of who you are as a person, and you can change course—at any point!
Monitor your emotions. Do the work. Then open that door.
We just ‘Simone Biles’ this!
