Tell The Truth...You're Not a Template, Are You?

 

It can get noisy being in my head.

• What email provider should I use?
• And how do I grow an email list and following?
• How do I want to accept payments?
• Will I charge upfront or after work is completed?
• Should I collaborate or keep all the glory?
• Do I niche down or appeal to the masses?

How about you?

There are so many directions laid out in front of us -- when you run a business. You don't always know what your next move is even if you cautiously calculate every step.

...but what is your intuition saying?

When I used to follow the "successful gurus" online, I had a lot of questions. I was so afraid to miss a step. So I followed the templates made readily available when you enter your email. Realizing afterward, I am not a template but I also didn't know what I was doing. Failing wasn't an option, so I worked extra hard on every first try.

Only to stay standing in position.

What it did was foster fear. And as a result, I did stuff that wasn't aligned with who I am. All because I didn't listen to the aching. The aching of doing the things that would charge me up, rather than drain my energy.

I am not a template.

Not easily motivated by the standard of success. Instead, I wanted something that would add to my fuel than out my fire.

I am not a template.

Not built to fit into a mold. Instead, I wanted something that would demand the best of me and require me to show up.

Those things usually require a lot more effort upfront and signal you to step outside of what's comfortable. Not heeding to the aching led me to be inauthentic, lose my voice, and fade into the mundane existence of everyone else. 

Unfortunately, I am not a template. I can't slide into a vision that is not my own and expect it to flourish without getting my hands dirty.

Sometimes, I forget why I started my business She is Epic. Sometimes, I forget my mission. Then without looking, my message is lost in translation just like the women I help. Which makes me real & it makes me human. And this fault gives me my edge, anytime I feel fake or ever fumbling along --I tell the truth.

...because fortunately, I am not a template.

My mission is to tell the truth along this "running a business" journey. To help women like myself who have a fire -- they can't explain -- but know they must act. To remove the curtain and reveal the gears to this whole operation. To make it easier for you to win. To know you too don't do templates. 

I root for the underdog because I am one. 

Tell the truth. This is your edge.

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God Told Me To Tell You: Don't Make Everything An Event

If I could have it my way I wouldn't worry about a thing.
But I worry.

I worry about my daughter returning back safely to me every day in one piece.

I worry about my parents growing older and being financially ready to support them.

I worry about my partner and I splitting and ruining our foundation of friendship. 
He is my first real best friend.

I worry about not living up to my full potential.

I worry about dying and leaving no legacy -- no footprint.
Not even writing that book I talked about my whole entire life.

I worry about paying my bills on time. 
Who am I kidding? I worry about paying my bills. There are so many. Adulting is hard.

I worry. 
I think I got it from my mama.

Then one day a voice said, "Don't make everything an event."
I don't usually hear voices but when I do it's confident and firm yet loving in its approach. 

So I listened.

Then I wrote it down.
It seemed important.
It was something I needed to hear that morning.

"Don't make everything an event."

It didn't say much after that but I can fill in the blanks.

Don't make everything an event -- just do what needs to be done.

There is no room left for worry when it's no longer one. 
 

"Follow Your Passion" and Other Things That Sound Good in Theory

Can we stop saying "Follow your passion" as an answer to "What should I do with my life?".

It sounds surreal, esoteric, and also impractical.

What you should do with your life and how you make money are not always synonymous. So it's impractical to say "Don't worry about money. It will work itself out once you're passionate about something." Gee, thanks.

Forget the work, sacrifice, and under-eye-bags that come along for the ride of trying to figure out what you're even passionate about. Then once you check that off --how do you do the darn thing without looking like a freak --flailing around?

Just like the endearing term hustling, whether hard or not, isn't synonymous with generating results. Even when you hustle hard, you could still end up stuck where you started. And being told "Be yourself" is as practical advice as "Stop buying Starbucks and you'll be rich." Saving money doesn't make you rich, it makes you conservative with your money. Learning to spend your money on the right things becomes an investment. Despite the rise of social "stories" (Insta or Snap), I've yet to see an increase in my bank account from being myself. Rather, learning to be consistent has become my greatest asset.

Just like hustling hard doesn't make you successful, it makes you exhausted. Instead, learn to focus your efforts to produce progress.

Which leads me back to the question we launched with, Can we stop saying "Follow your passion" as an answer to "What should I do with my life?".

If anything, what you should do with your life is make an investment.

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How To Sniff Out Bad Apple Clients, An Untold Tale

[ short answer ]

What are the warning signs of a bad client?

Watch for four red flags. They won't fill out your intake questionnaire. They keep trying to haggle over your price list. They ask endless questions about return on investment and expect you to fix everything overnight. And they fight every recommendation you make. If someone won't do a five-minute questionnaire, expect them to fight your whole process.

Once upon a time...

The story of Snow White a classic tale of naivety.

She bit into a poisonous apple handed to her by one of the wickedest of witches. In hopes of stealing her beauty and sending her into a deep slumber never to awaken.

Which meant death.

Well, this is not the story I'll be sharing with you...

Instead, I'm here to tell the tale of what would've happened if Snow White knew the phrase "stranger danger" and went off on her merry way to pick flowers or whatever. 

I wish someone would've hipped me to these "sniffing out sour apple techniques" and identify potential nightmares in the making. In turn, avoiding the slow death of our soul --saving the heartache and future bags under your eyes. 

When you sniff out these 4 bad apple clients, don't take the bait.

Learn from Snow White. And stay woke.

1) They Won't Take The Test

If you have a system in place to qualify a client like a mini questionnaire, or survey etc and they avoid doing it. 

I smell something sour from this apple.

Having a process or steps in place before you hop on a call, helps you determine if you or they are a right fit without wasting anyone's time. If your intake process determines they're not emotionally or financially prepared to solicit your service, or they're asking for a project above your expertise. You can politely send them an email declining their acceptance and redirecting them somewhere else with a better fit.

Trust me on this.

If they refuse to answer a 5 min questionnaire, they'll most likely, fight your entire process.

And what's a business, without a process and systems?

The answer, a hobby.

2) They Won't Stop "But, what if..."-ing Your Price List

Having a price list is the most professional thing you can do for your business. 

Even Burger King has one.

• It shows you've put thought into the details of every project. 
• It shows you know what your ideal clients generally ask for. 
• It's also a tell tale sign you have a system in place for generating results.

Then here comes a potential client "But, what if we didn't do this or take out this. Would it still be the same price?" 

Is there a worm I see in this apple?

They wouldn't negotiate paying $1.00 instead of $3.99 for their burger. They would just decide if they wanted cheese, bacon or both on it. If they're not going to battle with Burger King's menu, the same applies to your price list.

Go ahead and be generous: Add perks to the project like unlimited emailing throughout the working relationship or an additional thing-a-ma-jig but the price list is the price list.

Just be open to including fries with that.

---

💡 related: How To Tell If Your Prices Are Way Too Low

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3) They Ask a Ton of ROI Questions

Of course, you want to get a return on your investment. Duh.

It's the part where they put all the responsibility on YOU producing exceptional results overnight. They came in with a mess, expecting you to clean it up and someone to point the finger at, just because they were burned in the past. 

This apple looks bruised.

This is where you tell them, "We're not a good fit" and recommend therapy instead.

 

4) They Battle Every Gawddamn Suggestion

This one truly baffles me. 

They pay you (the expert) to get the job done...then tell you, they want to try it their way first. 

Why am I here?! 
Am I being punked?

Baffled.

These are one of those GMO apples. 

Here's where you take the reigns and remind them why they hired you in the first place. If they could have done it themselves, they would have rolled up their sleeves and took 40 days and 40 nights to get it right. What would've only taken you minutes.

Never undervalue your skills or allow the client to dictate terms. 

Answer their questions, show your skillful savviness but also reassure them --they're in expert hands. And here to awaken them, from what could have been, an eternal slumber.

How do you sniff out bad apple clients?

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When Your Bank Balance & Belly are Screaming, "Feed Me"

If you've ever had to make a decision between paying your rent and eating --you've freelanced for a living.

Nobody starts making money right away in their business. 

NObody. 

And I am willing to bet if you're doing this thing right, you will invest at least 50% of what you make --back into your business to earn more. 

Am I right?

• You will outsource the small mundane tasks in your day to work smarter
• You will buy Facebook ads or boost your social posts at some point
• You will dip into your transportation funds to attend free networking events
• Or dig deeper into your reserves to attend a conference
• You will pay yearly to maintain a website that hasn't been doing much promoting on your behalf lately
• You will pay membership fees, save "just in case I'm over taxed money", and make payments (to the tools that keep your business running)
• If you're really fancy you'll hire someone to coach you through it

 

But what you didn't anticipate were all the things that also drain your TIME.

So you...

• Prioritize email last on your list. Otherwise, the day ends without checking anything off the list
• Enable do not disturb on your phone. So family & friends who think "You're not really working" will leave you alone
• Avoid dinner dates and coffee chit-chats to accomplish more but end up anti-social

And still, yet, your balance & belly keep screaming: "Feed me".

What if, and this is a hypothetical what if.

What if, what you did in your business aligned with the service you do for others?

What if you spend those days not only building a body of work but helping others build their legacy too?

What if, they were one in the same?

Then...would your balance & belly instead scream, "I'm stuffed", "Full", "Overflow"?

It's only in that epiphany, we figure out how to leave our footprint on this earth.

Freelance Achievement Stickers by Jeremy Nguyen

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17 Books Worth Re-Reading For Business Book Lovers 😍

A post like this is way past due from me.

Also, it’s somewhat of a selfish endeavour because it's something for me to look back at on my journey and see what books poured into my growth.

I am a book bully.

I go bananas for books.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

A long time ago, I made the mistake of lending one of my books to a "friend" (or so I thought) and it came back with creases.

CREASES, Y'ALL! We were never the same. Still traumatized to this day.

Although, I’ve read quite a few books in my lifetime since starting my business years ago, I only binge on business books. Actually, I can't remember the last time I read fiction.

I need an intervention or a phenomenal fiction recommendation, whichever comes first. Got any?

Here are 17 business books I'd giddily re-read:

1. The Tools - Phil Stutz & Barry Michels

This book will surprise you with how practical it is...if you believe in visualization, positive thinking and whatnot. It provided me with the life tools on how to push through inevitable fear & difficult times. 

“Real change requires you to change your behavior-not just your attitude.”

2. 21 Irrefutable Laws to Leadership - John A. Maxwell 

“Many people view leadership the same way they view success, hoping to go as far as they can, to climb the ladder, to achieve the highest position possible for their talent. But contrary to conventional thinking, I believe the bottom line in leadership isn't how far we advance ourselves but how far we advance others. That is achieved by serving others and adding value to their lives.”

When I wanted a promotion in my job, I read this cover to cover. FYI, I got the promotion.

3. 50th Law - Robert Greene & 50 Cent  

I think the re-read count on this is three times.

Connecting street hustle to boardroom politics was a genius move on both Curtis Jackson & Robert Greene. This is the 48 Laws of Power remixed.

“Reality has its own power—you can turn your back on it, but it will find you in the end, and your inability to cope with it will be your ruin.”

4. Secrets of Six-Figure Women - Barbara Stanny

“All underearners, without question, share one common trait: a high tolerance for low”

When you want to stop underearning you pick up this book. Mindset is everything. 😍

 

5. You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth - Jen Sincero

If you read her first one: You Are A Badass. You already know this one is a good re-read too. The stories Jen tells are hilarious and relatable. I considered it to be a primer to what Barbara Stanny shares in Secrets of Six-Figure Women. 

“What comes out of your mouth comes into your life.”

6. The Magic of Thinking Big - Dr. David Schwartz

HANDS DOWN IN MY TOP 5 OF BRILLIANT BOOKS. This list isn't in any specific order, as they're all worth a re-read.

It's one of those books you buy and never crack open. Read it from the library or listen to it on audio but don't give this book any creases.

“The mind is what the mind is fed.”

7. Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness - David Ramsey

I picked up this book when my debts became out of control. David gives real & practical advice in a no nonsense fashion. You can never be too money smart.

“Winning at money is 80 percent behavior and 20 percent head knowledge. What to do isn’t the problem; doing it is. Most of us know what to do, but we just don’t do it. If I can control the guy in the mirror, I can be skinny and rich.”

 

8. Think & Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill

Of course, this is on the list!

The crazy thing about this book, anytime I read it, (which the count is about 5 times) I get the most vivid dreams. I am not sure what that's about.

“Put your foot upon the neck of the fear of criticism by reaching a decision not to worry about what other people think, do, or say.”

9. Born to Win - Zig Ziglar

YOU MUST READ THIS THROUGH AUDIO.

Zig Ziglar's passion is unmatched in audiobooks and I've listened to quite a few audio books through my library. TIP: Download the Overdrive app to get free books through your library card.  This is an incredible mindset book on the foundations of being a winner. 

“If you believe as I do that you were born to win, you’re going to have to find your fears and start facing them.”

One is a library book and one is in mint condition with no creases. Can you tell which is which?

10. Mastery - Robert Greene

This is my favorite author and he can do no wrong. It's the key to life, right-in-this-here book. He wrote the manuscript, right-here. I see why his books are banned from some prisons. You can overthrow countries if you study what's written in this-here book.

“The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways.”

 

 

11. Big Magic - Elizabeth Gilbert

Not really a business book BUT it can help stir your creativity. And you need creativity to make money these days.

“The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.”

12. Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?  - Seth Godin 

This is geared more toward career longevity and being irreplaceable but it's worth mentioning as a business book. There are solid gold gems in here you can use in any industry. This is when I was first introduced to the concept of the Lizard Brain

"The lizard brain is the reason you're afraid, the reason you don't do all the art you can, the reason you don't ship when you can. The lizard brain is the source of the resistance.”

13. You, Inc.: The Art of Selling Yourself -  Harry Beckwith, Christine K. Clifford 

I love this book because it's concise and logical. It dumbs down the whole selling yourself and makes you feel less uncomfortable about promoting your projects.

It's really teaching you the art of humble bragging.

“If I had booked a car service, it would have delivered me to Princeton ten minutes before the meeting. Instead, I chose to save $115, and lost a $125,000 opportunity in the process.”

14. Hypnotic Writing: How to Seduce and Persuade Customers with Only Your Words - Joe Vitale

You know I had to sneak in one or two copywriting books.

Writing persuasive words is marketing. And knowing how to do it right (or hire me) is critical to your online success.

"The first step in writing Hypnotic Copy is understanding the mind of your reader. That mind is not focused on your writing. That mind is absorbed with its own concerns."

 

15. Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die - Chip & Dan Heath

This is another-sorta-copywriting book. 

It speaks to the emotion behind why people buy and how to flip your ideas into innovation. I couldn't put this one down. It's a page turner for sure.

FYI: the book in the picture is pretty beaten up because it's from the library. I would never!

“To get someone's attention break a pattern of thinking.”

 

16. Power of Broke: How Empty Pockets, a Tight Budget, and a Hunger for Success Can Become Your Greatest Competitive Advantage  - Daymond John

Mr. Shark Tank himself.

I'm not going to lie. I was hesitant at first about picking up this book. Although the title is catchy, I wasn't sure if this was for me. It was. It's for anyone looking to start, build or run a business. It has true life stories from entrepreneurs themselves in the trenches and what they've learned. Lots of nuggets to pull from.

“Told myself it didn’t matter if my ride didn’t turn heads—it only mattered that it turned things around for me.”

 

17. The Millionaire Fastlane: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime! - MJ DeMarco

FINALLY!

Where it all started for me. This book opened my mind to what was possible. It made me see limitless opportunities if I was receptive and eager to grab them. Which snowballed into the mountain of business books I've read afterward. This book gives you concepts but doesn't get to the meat and potato of HOW to do what is suggested. But boy did it make me see POSSIBILITIES.

Fair warning, after reading you may feel an urge to quit your day job.

“Instead of digging for gold, sell shovels. Instead of taking a class, offer a class. Instead of borrowing money, lend it. Instead of taking a job, hire for jobs. Instead of taking a mortgage, hold a mortgage. Break free from consumption, switch sides, and reorient to the world as producer.”

What are your MUST RE-READ books?

(like I need anymore non-fiction :))

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How to Build a Burger Empire Using The 48 Laws of Power

When you've loose your appetite, break out into cold sweats and self-diagnose a grizzly bear cough --you watch a movie called The Founder to get back your strength.

If you don't judge me on how I spend my healing period of having a cold. I won't judge your enjoyment of being pantless. 

I am not a McDonald's eater...anymore.

For one, it's unhealthy and I have a story of why I really stopped eating it. There's fainting and a toilet involved but I'll spare you the gory details. Just know, I don't eat those golden deliciously salted fries at McDonalds anymore.

Back to building a burger empire using the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. Big Greene fan. His books are the secret to life. If you don't do anything in your entire existence read one of his books. Just one. The man has 5.

On to the movie. 

This true story drama shares how Ray Kroc, a salesman from Illinois (which I'll refer to as "The Founder"), met Mac and Dick McDonald, (and I'll refer to as The McD Brothers) who ran a burger operation in 1950s Southern California. Kroc was impressed by the brothers' speedy system of making the food and saw franchise potential. He maneuvered himself into a position to be able to pull the company from the brothers and create a billion-dollar empire (Taken from Wikipedia).

If you haven't seen the film already, this is your spoiler alert moment. SPOILER ALERT!

As I was watching the film, my initial reaction, this is sad. Very sad. These men (The McD Brothers) were just trying to make an honest living. Started a burger business and proud of what they built. But then, I wised up and realized this is life doll and it's either you learn from their oversight or become another sad story like them.

You can't revival my self-talk. It's ruthless.

So I learned and also connect it to 20 of the 48 Laws of Power. I'm sure you can find a couple more if you put some more thought into it. Here is my take in 20-bite sized form (tweetable even). Highlight and Tweet out. 

#1

1 NEVER OUTSHINE THE MASTER | "The Founder" had a humble approach to the McD Brothers. Which brought him closer and fostered trust.

#2

3 CONCEAL YOUR INTENTIONS |"The Founder" knew the McD Brothers' Speedee System but by playing the dull card concealed his business smarts.

#3

4 ALWAYS SAY LESS THAN NECESSARY |"The Founder" was a talker but while the plot brewed in his head he kept the McD Brothers in the dark.

#4

5 SO MUCH DEPENDS ON REPUTATION |"The Founder" tried bank loans to build more locations and got rejected. He approached rich friends instead.

#5

7 GET OTHERS TO DO THE WORK FOR YOU | This was the crux to how "The Founder" won. He swiped the McDonalds name + blueprint in 15 years.

#6

8 MAKE OTHER PEOPLE COME TO YOU | Word spread of the opportunity to do more than make an honest living & franchise candidates began to flock.

#7

9 WIN TROUGH YOUR ACTIONS | The McD Brothers had strict rules but "The Founder" found a way to bend them by proving himself through results.

#8

10 INFECTION: AVOID THE UNHAPPY AND UNLUCKY | "The Founder" longed for his 1st wife to work by his side. She wouldn't. They later divorced.

#9

11 LEARN TO KEEP PEOPLE DEPENDENT ON YOU | The McD Brothers tried & failed at franchising. "The Founder" made it work & they had to bow.

#10

12 USE SELECTIVE HONESTY & GENEROSITY TO DISARM YOUR VICTIM | The McD Brothers missed out on 100 million/yr. in royalties blinded by their nostalgia.

#11

15 CRUSH YOUR ENEMY TOTALLY | Ceasing the use of the name & building a McDonalds parallel to the McD Brothers left no room for recovery.

#12

17 CULTIVATE AN AIR OF UNPREDICTABILITY | "The Founder" made erratic decisions or it seemed to the McD Brothers. Unsuspected smoke screen.

#13

18 ISOLATION IS DANGEROUS | The McD Brothers never flew out to check in on "The Founder" or sought knowledge. This became their downfall.

#14

21 PLAY A SUCKER TO CATCH A SUCKER | "The Founder" praised the McD Brothers ingenuity & got them to believe he could be controlled /w a contract.

#15

23 CONCENTRATE YOUR FORCES | "The Founder" was introduced to powered milkshake which cut down refrigeration cost by 100%. It was a hard sell from real ice cream the McD Brothers wanted. So he formed allies with franchisees.

#16

25 RECREATE YOURSELF | From salesman to mogul is no easy feat. "The Founder" pulled it off by using the expertise of business advisors around him.

#17

30 MAKE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS SEEM EFFORTLESS | "The Founder" never gave credit to The McD Brothers. It seemed HE was the genius behind all ideas.

#18

32 PLAY TO PEOPLES FANTASIES | "The Founder" was the master at this. He knew what people wanted and spoke to it immediately. Playing on emotions rather than logic.

#19

35 MASTER THE ART OF TIMING | "The Founder" although erratic in his outburst always took action at the right moment and to the right people.

 

#20

46 NEVER APPEAR TOO PERFECT | "The Founder" appeared to be the average family guy who works hard to help the average working family guy.

What law do you think made "The Founder" billions?